It probably comes as a surprise to many, but even as an online instructor who works from home, I still experience Mommy Guilt. I’m sure you’ve heard the term – the infamous “Mommy Guilt” that all Moms are destined to experience at some point during their parenting journey – whether it’s a Work-Outside-the-Home Mom (WOHM) who has to drop her beloved child off at daycare every day or a Stay-at-Home Mom (SAHM) who feels guilty for taking an evening to herself or going to the gym, all moms deal with it at some point.
Because I’m able to work at home, with my kids underfoot, I have found that many don’t understand how or why I’d have “Mommy Guilt.” I mean, goodness, my kids are right there – sometimes no more than an arm length away. However, for me, as a Work-at-Home Mom (WAHM) there is a different type of guilt – a guilt that I can’t constantly be engaged with them, a guilt of being torn between grading deadlines and wanting to have a picnic in the front yard. A guilt for sending them to preschool and to a lovely woman’s house to play with their friends in the summer. A guilt for not always being present even when I’m physically there. A guilt that somehow I’m not doing all I can for them by dividing my time between them and my work.
I’ve dealt with this guilt from the first day I became a parent. Besides the 6 weeks I took off when my first child, my son, Bo was born, I have worked constantly since then. I was grading papers online while I was in labor with my twin daughters, Clara and Anna. Work is a constant, never-ending, on-going, every day (even weekends) part of my life.
I’ve dealt with this guilt many ways over the years. I’ve taken up cooking and baking, somehow thinking that if my children eat well and I’m engaged with them during meal times it’s more okay for me to work later. I’ve taken respite in the fact that they love school and have enjoyed the other options I’ve found to keep them occupied during some of my work hours. I credit their social nature to this!
While I still often feel guilty – or maybe torn is a better word – I have no doubt that my being a Work-At-Home Mom has been beneficial for my kids. Sure, it’s nice to have my income and to be able to have extra money for dance classes, swim lessons, evenings out, and vacations – but more importantly, it’s been great for me. I fear I would be a complete helicopter parent if it weren’t for my work. My brain needs something to stress oven and if it wasn’t work, it would be if Anna is going to fall off the swing at the park.
I’ve also found that those moments when I am with them and able to devote my entire attention to them are all the more precious. When every moment revolves around the children, I think it would be very easy to slip into complacency. For me, that is never an option. When I’m with them, I want to be with them 100%.
Most importantly, I hope that I’m instilling a work ethic in my children, which I think is vital to their future success. They see me work and have seen the time, effort, and sometimes frustration that comes with working and raising a family.
While I’ll always have some guilt – ultimately, I do think that I have the best career for my family.
About the Author
Jamie Weitl is a WAHM teaching for several online universities and raising three precocious little ones. In her spare time she enjoys writing, baking, and running. For more info, see my Google Plus Profile.
